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Here's a post-date tale from "anonymous" at Internetdatingtales. I am 40 to 50 pounds overweight, but I was honest about it. This man was 5-feet-9 and weighed in probably about pounds.
But okay, my idea of a bit [overweight] and his idea of a bit may vary. So I wave at him and over he comes. I felt bad that I had sat outside, because even though it was a mild day and there was an umbrella, he was soon sweating like a donkey.
And the charm, wit, and humor he had on the phone was He mumbled and fidgeted, but kept looking at me like I was a glass of water and he was on the tail end of a long walk through the desert. So I did it.
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I am so ashamed of myself, but in retrospect, what else could I do? I was sure every other blind date had coldly dumped him. And I knew he was a nice guy, just not the guy for me. I deliberately set out to gross him out. I started to laugh too loud at the unfunny things he said. And then, and I can barely type this, I actually put my hand in my armpit, pulled it out, and sniffed it.
Here's my own actually my only interesting online dating experience.
I was in school. In a new city, Chicago, lonely, and very cold. Her name was Bonnie, and her picture on Nerve. After a few chatty e-mail notes, we set up a meeting at a yuppie beer joint in Lincoln Park. I arrived first, sat at the bar, and ordered a beer. Those moments before your date shows up are priceless--my mind started racing a little, I could almost hear a low drum roll. And there she was--she walked in, sat down, ordered a beer.
The tattoo on her neck wasn't visible in her online picture. She looked a little rough around the edges, Bonnie did. She was about my height or a little taller, and she was built--and I don't mean built in a girly way, I mean she looked like she could bench press about twice my weight.
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She ordered another beer. And another, and another. Her cool, detached attitude soon turned boisterous and aggressive. She lapped me several times beer-wise, and didn't seem to notice, while peppering me with questions about past relationships. After about an hour I'd seen and heard enough. When I smoothly begged off, claiming a study group meeting, she just looked at me blankly--then, I thought, a little menacingly.
I thought I saw a vein pop out on her neck. After a long pause, she said, "You know, I think I'll walk outside with you. I felt the cold blast of the door swinging open, heard her walking behind me. My heart was beating fast as I stepped onto the sidewalk. I braced myself for a wallop and turned, but she was already lighting a cigarette. Without looking up she said, "See you around. For some people it works so well that it becomes a problem. Consider the story of "Shannon" from Washington D.
At times I tried to stop the madness. I'd take down my ads, I'd tell people I was taking a "break" from dating, I'd arrange to see the same guy several times just to keep me from going on new dates. But always, inevitably, I'd log in just to see who was out there, what new ads were posted in my absence As a result, I started having more dates than free evenings.
I became an expert stacker. My performance at work started to suffer. Between arranging dates and answering e-mails, I rarely finished my projects on time. Plus I started coming in late, hungover from the prior evening's activities. And I started taking long date lunches, because my evenings were already chock-full. At that point, my dating itself started to suffer.
I started losing track of which one was the human rights lawyer and which one hiked Mt. Everest, which one grew up on a farm in the Midwest, which one liked to make curry, which one was divorced and which one had been in the Marines. My ability to combine witty banter with piercing intellectual observations and shy but come-hither glances the ingredients, I knew, of a successful date was plummeting.
Slack-jawed, bleary-eyed, I could only listen with faux enthusiasm and nod at appropriate intervals to their monologues He got pissed off and hung up on me. Met a guy who was few years older than me, but I tend to go for older guys. We'd been on a couple dates when he told me that he was going to be out of town on business in Texas for a month and wouldn't internet access while he was there.
I said fine, call me when you get back. He did, and when we met at the restaurant he proceeded to tell me that he had lied to me He then openly admitted that he was keeping his options open because he wasn't sure things were going to work out but "good news for me", they didn't, so he was all mine. I got up and left the restaurant before the drinks came. I sent him an email when I got home saying that if he had just been honest with me in the first place, I would have been fine.
We were never exclusive, so I completely understand that he would be still dating other people. But he lied and if he would lie about that, what else would he lie about?
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I met a guy I could really get serious about. We had a ton in common, he was very laid back and so easy to get along with and easy to talk to.
We dated exclusively for about a month. Then he completely stops talking to me--no calls, no emails. I sent him several emails that went unanswered, and he finally sends me the "we need to talk" email.
He had told me that he had broken up with a girl a few weeks before we started dating, but what he hadn't told me was that he had a many year history with this girl, and that they had broken up and gotten back together several times.
If I had known that, given how recent the break up was, I would have been a lot more cautious and probably would not have allowed myself to get as emotionally involved with him as I did. Fortunately, I met the man who would become my husband 2 months later. I kept in touch with the internet guy by email for the first few months of dating my husband, just as friends In early February I was telling him what I was doing for my boyfriend for Valentine's Day and he responded saying what a lucky guy he was and how his girlfriend would never do anything like that for him.