7 Warning Signs That You Are Dating a Loser | PairedLife
The article, Are You Dating A Loser was written by Joseph M. Carver, Ph.D., signs of emotional and physical abuse to look for within dating relationships. Let's face facts: some people are just irredeemable jerks. They're selfish and treat other people like crap, and they're not even sorry about it. If you're in the. Posts about signs you're dating a loser written by psychopathyawareness.
You may even reach a milestone in your life where you begin questioning your own sanity and wonder if you are going crazy. At this point, it is important to remember only one thing.
It is his behaviour that is irrational and not yours. Your friends and family may spot the signs and try to alert you to their concerns. Nonetheless, you are oblivious to the issues they raise and dismiss their fears without so much as a second thought.
Are You Dating a “Loser”?
The grave danger in doing this, is that their views are usually far more objective than yours. When your nearest and dearest tells you that they do not like the person that you are dating, you really need to view this as a red flag. Remember, they love you and want nothing more than to see you happy.
However, they see how he treats you.
They see the effect that it has on you. They see how dating this guy has changed you into a shadow of your former self. Try and see the situation from their perspective.
Also, do not forget that these are the very people who will be there for you, picking up the pieces, long after the loser has disappeared. He is unfaithful to you.
Are You Dating a "Loser"? - Women's and Gender Studies, The Pauline Jewett Institute
He asks to borrow money off you. He fails to turn up for a date. All of the above. He also has a penchant for lying, albeit badly at times. Nonetheless, he will never admit that he was lying, even if he is caught red-handed. As time goes on, the loser will begin to cancel dates or possibly, not not show up at all. He will make endless promises that he has no intention of keeping. He will say that he loves you but then treats you like something on the bottom of his shoe.
He may even become physically abusive. At this point, you need to walk away, regardless of any tearful apologies that he may make. Image is important to a loser and he will constantly be taking selfies and posting them on social media sites. He Is Self-Obsessed A loser is self-obsessed and only cares about himself and his image.
He is unable to walk past a mirror without checking himself out. He also likes to talk about himself and rarely lets you speak, unless it is to shower him with praise. He expresses very little interest in your life, family, friends, work or your activities and interests.
Your role is to make him feel good about himself and not to bore him with the minutia of your life. A loser tends to be extremely active on social media, constantly posting images of himself. He will closely monitor the number of 'likes' and adoring comments from his followers. It is highly improbable that he will add any photographs of you. He does not want anyone to steal his thunder. His inability to accept criticism also means that he is never wrong. Consequently, any attempt by you to challenge his wrongdoings will simply result in feelings of anger or self-pity on his part.
As a result of this, you may even begin making excuses for his actions. A loser will openly criticise and embarrass you in public. He will do his very best to make you feel worthless, so that he can feel superior to you. This makes you easier to control. As you begin to have feelings of self-doubt, you will eventually reach a point where you feel worthless.
This is exactly where a loser wants you to be. He does not want you to succeed at anything, as that would make you better than him. He is secretly setting you up to fail at everything you do. Don;t be fooled by a loser who showers you with lavish gifts. Eventually, it will be you who ends up paying for them. He Asks to Borrow Money At the beginning of your relationship, a loser will usually insist on paying for everything.
This is to lull you into a false sense of security, but do not be fooled. This is simply a ruse to deceive you into believing that he is financially secure. More often than not, a loser is living on credit.
He is unable to manage his money and often has significant debts. He also has a great sense of entitlement which means that he spends way beyond his means. His assertion that he pampered Stacy by indulging her obsession with plastic surgery rings false.
Cutting Off Your Support. In the wild, predators isolate their prey from the rest of the herd to better attack and devour it. Losers isolate their partners from their friends, colleagues and families. They may do so through overt criticism and by following them around when they meet with others, as Drew did to Stacy. Sometimes they opt for more subtle manipulation, such as by covertly turning the victim against her own family and friends and vice versa.
You will withdraw from friends and family, prompting them to become upset with you. The Mean and Sweet Cycle. As we recall, Drew Peterson bought his wife a motorcycle and expensive jewelry even during the period of time when he was criticizing her, throwing her up against the wall, isolating her from her loved ones, accusing her of infidelity and calling her pejorative names. Which is why, as Dr. The cycle starts when they are intentionally hurtful and mean. You may be verbally abused, cursed, and threatened over something minor.
Suddenly, the next day they become sweet, doing all those little things they did when you started dating. The psychopath invariably cycles back to his real, nasty self. Over time, the meanness cycle escalates in severity and increases in duration.
The other purpose of the mean cycle is to allow The Loser to say very nasty things about you or those you care about, again chipping away at your self-esteem and self-confidence. They deny obvious facts and accuse their victims of wrongdoing. Their spurious logic goes something like this: According to him, they lied about being hit by him.
They also lied about his verbal abuse. He never hit them, even if Kathy had to go to the emergency room to recover from his blows. Psychopaths need to maintain control of everything in their lives, especially their romantic relationships. When they get bored with one partner or find a replacement, they can leave her on the spur of the moment, heartlessly, often without even bothering to offer an explanation.
But they get very angry when the tables are turned and their partners leave them. Yet when they wanted to leave him to escape the misery and abuse, he resorted to violence, threats, bribes and, when none of these strategies worked, probably murder.