The Rules For Dating Your Friend’s Ex-Girlfriend | FHM Ph
Scenario: Your best friend Paulo and his girlfriend Maria have been a couple since high school. They decided to part ways just a week ago. “There are no actual rules when it comes to dating a friend's ex, but it does require exercising some common sense,” says Natasha Sharma. I don't know what the rule is for women, but men have a code we all follow. You never date your friend's ex, sister or potential interest unless your friend, without being asked Is it okay to date your friend's ex-girlfriend (friend is not that close )?.
You developed feelings for Maria. What should you do now? Should you buy her a bouquet of roses and tell her right away that you love her? Here's what you have to do: Analyze your feelings Are you sure it's not just infatuation or lust?
How sure are you? Is it okay to lose a friend? Figure out if your decision is worth the drama that can and will unfold.
Rules For Dating Your Friend’s Ex – BallNRoll
If it's just infatuation, lust, or both, sweep it under the rug and pretend like it never happened. If it's real, listen to your heart and proceed to the next step. Break the news to your friend You need to let your friend know.
He has the right to know. There's no need to seek for his permission. Get straight to the point. Expect that this won't come easy for him. He might even try to punch you in the face.
But if he is really your friend, at some point he should be open to at least a conversation. Confess your feelings for her She is at the center of this and she might not even know it.
Make sure you tell her exactly how you feel. Just talk to her and see what's up. You've got a hell of a decision to make.
Accordingly, you should treat this like any other important decision, which is to say that you should get as much information as possible. First, be real with yourself.
The Rules For Dating Your Friend’s Ex-Girlfriend
Is this girl really special to you? Is there actually an uncommon reaction between you — some sort of deep compatibility that's worth alienating your friend for? Or is she just an attractive person who finds you attractive, too? Those two things are so, so easily confused. Approach these questions with the maximum possible skepticism about yourself. If you feel fluttery every time you talk to a pretty girl, keep that in mind.
Is it ever OK to date your friend’s ex?
If you're currently lonely and you really need to get laid, consider that maybe you're just desperate. And dwell on the fact that some of your excitement might just come from the taboo nature of this potential relationship, because, like everyone else, you want what's off-limits.
If I were a betting man, I'd bet that your crush on this girl is just like any other crush. It's a fun illusion, which, if pursued, might reveal a great relationship, or might not. Odds are, that's what this is, in which case you should probably just sigh, move on, and hit up your online dating site of choice, where you can find lots of other crush-worthy women. I found out about this the hard way, in a similar situation. Tom, one of my childhood friends, was always kind of bummed out, until he met Josie, a fast-talking, high-energy woman who brought him out of his shell.
They had a sparkling relationship — they were one of those couples that just radiated warm, gooey, nauseating passion — and I was super envious of it. Also, obviously, Josie was an outrageously foxy person: There was only one weird thing about her, which is that I would occasionally catch her looking at me a little funny.
I suspected that she had a low-key crush on me. About a year after she dumped Tom abruptly, leaving him a sniveling wreck, I discovered that I was correct. We ran into each other at a party. Flirting with each other was easy, taking each other's clothes off was easy, and it felt like fate — like absolute magic — and it kept feeling like absolute magic for about a month, at which point I discovered that she was kind of boring, or at least that we bored each other. In the end, I got about five dates out of it, in exchange for an irreparably ruined friendship.
Tom found out, and he never forgave me. Now, if you're sure that this is not you, that this is Real Love you're looking at, then what you have to do is tell your friend what's up.
Tell your friend about your intentions, and ask him if there's any way you can make the process easier for him. This conversation will not go well.
Because, again, you're declaring to an old friend that you're prepared to disregard his feelings. That's the truth of the situation. There's no two ways about it. It's going to hurt even if you say all the nice things you should say — that you're still going to be his friend, that you're going to try not to Instagram this girl obsessively, etc. Ultimately, dating a friend's ex is inadvisable. But sometimes, you have to do inadvisable things for love.