I Can't Believe My Ex Girlfriend is With My Best Friend
How to Handle Your Best Friend Hooking Up with Your Ex-Girlfriend . Now it's up to you to make a choice: Will you forgive his faux-pas, or cut. Should I ask out my ex-girlfriend's (she dumped me for another guy) ex-best friend? sex with your ex (now your bestie's wife) and after some more complications, its really wierd for me because yes my best friend of 3 years dated my ex. This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Here was a woman who I thought was my good girlfriend. I think, "My ex is dating my friend" is very common, especially if you live in the suburbs.
Grit your teeth, accept it, act classy and show grace to the outside world.
My Ex is Dating My Friend! How to Handle it and How to Keep From Going Insane | HuffPost Life
I remember people in my neighborhood would tell me they saw them out and I would seriously cringe, and then go home and cry. The people weren't trying to be cruel, by the way. Make sure not to react in front of others because it could get back to your ex and your friend I mean, your ex friend. Plus, when the relationship ends, the only thing people will remember is how you reacted.
DO NOT make a scene and get into a girl fight with the girl. It's unproductive, psychotic and immature. You don't' have to be overly friendly to your ex and your friend. In fact, if you are a little icy that's okay.
Just don't go postal. Call your REAL girlfriends. The fact that this girl did this to you is probably making you feel insecure about girl friendships. So, call your girls up! Call the ones you know are your true friends. They will support you more than you could have possibly imagined. They will assure you that they are your best friends and that you are loved. The relationship probably won't last. What are the chances they are going to end up happily ever after?
- My Ex Girlfriend is Dating One of My Friends
- My Ex is Dating My Friend! How to Handle it and How to Keep From Going Insane
Especially if he or she is newly separated. If it does, you can handle it because of tip 8.
My Best Friend Is Dating My Ex Girlfriend And The World Says It Was My Fault
Focus on your own life. The person is obviously is a bad friend and you are getting a divorce, regardless of him or her, right? So, let them have their fun and concentrate on making your own life better. Focus on your kids, your career, and your love life, if you choose.
A good friend used to say to me, "You're on your own road. Confront your friend and apologize. Say something like, "This isn't personal. We really like each other. I hope you understand that we don't want to hurt you. I'm so so sorry. It's an unselfish act. If she goes off on you, at least you can say you handled it the best way you could have.
Jackie Pilossoph is the author of the blog, Divorced Girl Smiling. I didn't expect any kind of "honorable" behavior from my ex, but I did expect it from my best friend.
I felt really betrayed by the whole thing. All that said, if you value your friendship with this person you should stay far, far away from this potential mess. But I do have a pair of friends who got together about six months after the guy broke up with another girl they'd both been friends with. Pair of friends has now been married for more than a decade, so it seems ridiculous to say they shouldn't have dated. BUT it did torpedo both of their friendships with First Girlfriend.
All this time later and that friendship never recovered. So if you feel strongly about this woman, go for it, but know that your friendship with her ex is likely toast unless he chooses to not hold a grudge. I'm very much of the "he doesn't own her and has no say in who she gets to date" school of thought, but while that is absolutely true it's probably not going to mitigate his hurt feelings for the near future.
None of us can know, that's why the answers all bounce between no and yes. I would trust your gut.
What is reasonable is that if you both feel such a strong connection, you cool it for a bit and you can see if it's real or just a rebound and you can talk to your friend. Though I know how hard waiting is when you're really into someone The only clear thing is that you must talk to the friend if you do go forward. Do not let him hear about it some other way. That's hurtful, demeaning and puts your relationship in the light of skulking in the shadows.
And while you're walking away, you might want to do some thinking about why you want to be in such a dramatic situation. What you're doing is, well, pretty destructive to yourself, your friend, the woman, and your ties with and to one another. Like people said above, if this is going to work, it will work later.
If you must, you can wait awhile until the dust has settled. Not that we actually dated either, we just started hanging out all the time. My friend was pretty hurt, and it almost ruined our friendship. A few months later the ex got pissed that i was still friends with him and quit talking to me basically entirely, even though she knew at the outset i wasn't just going to quit being his friend.
This is the sort of thing you do like a year later. Maybe even more, if you're going to do it at all. And really really ask yourself if it's worth it. Or at the very least, inconsiderate and tactless. I'm really really not in to any kind of bro-code sort of stuff and i'm not saying that at all here.
I'm just saying that the Average Reasonable Person would likely be upset if their friend did this to them, and they wouldn't be a whiny baby for feeling that way. I just really really see this ending as it not working out, or her getting bored, or realizing she wanted to spite him more than anything and leaving And my ex convinced him not to tell me she, somewhat misguidedly but with good intentions didn't want to hurt my feelings, and i believed her years later because she was just sort of bad at gauging that stuff.
When i found out i actually wasn't that mad it happened, just sort of disappointed I only found out because a mutual friend told me in a really roundabout way since he thought it was sketchy. So pretty much don't do this, if you do it be open about it, run if she doesn't want to be, be prepared to ruin your friendship, and don't expect it to work out. What reason is there not to wait?
Even if she hadn't broken up with your friend, i'm one of those people who thinks it's just unhealthy to go straight from relationship to relationship like that with no breaks And i have many cohorts who finally stopped doing that and only then realized how little breathing room it had given them and how much drama had flown by.
And one month-post-breakup is not a time when anyone is known for being particularly mature, you know? Also -- in all likelihood, you will end up being a rebound relationship for this woman, even if she's not doing it intentionally. Given that, I think it is especially not worth it to risk a decade-long relationship with a close friend. As others have said, if it is truly meant to be with this woman, and not a mix of lust-confusion-heartbreak-rebound-etc.
Though I started dating my ex's friend several months after we broke up, it has to be said. Things that helped the situation that are outside your immediate control: Which made things simpler in terms of allegations of cheating, "you dumped me to get with him", and him having any sort of moral high ground to judge who I dated after he broke up with me.
Things that we specifically did that helped the situation: I was basically like, "You know I dated X, but also here are extenuating circumstances Y that you probably don't know about, all of which means what I'm looking for right now is Z. We can't date if you're not on board with all of this. I think it helped that my ex was able to see an organic situation developing over time rather than some kind of collusion or betrayal or anything like that.
We did this before telling anyone else about it. Though, as I said, from what I now understand, we ourselves were the last to know.
My Best Friend is Dating My Ex : relationship_advice
To be honest, my guy and I just announced to our general social circle that we're moving in together, and my ex seemed kind of awkward about it. So I think even under the ideal circumstances, sometimes not everything comes together perfectly.
But if all three of you are the type of people who can live with that, I think that this could be OK.MY BEST FRIEND IS DATING MY EX GIRLFRIEND!! *Prank*
Two more bits of advice: Even if that means it's not always logical or socially ideal. With my current guy, all my concerns were met with, "who cares, I want to be with you. A couple-few years down the road, maybe - but right now, or even in the next few months, or even longer, if you spend time together right now, you will be considered a factor in their break-up.
Is losing the friendship worth it? Is the fact that you'd be rebound for her worth it? This isn't a common situation, at least for people with some decency and common sense who want quality relationships.
So your friend just started dating your ex. Here's how to deal
Not long after he and a once-close friend of mine started dating. Had I known, I would have effusively congratulated them, told them they were a terrific match, and wished them well. But I didn't know. One lied, one avoided me. Then, when I eventually found out, I was disgusted with them for assuming I would be some sort of odd jerk about it, and disgusted that skulking around and so on seemed like a better option than being nice to me.
We were never friends again. For what that's worth, anyway Tell your friend, though. He's going to find out and feel how he feels. Might as well spare him your lies of omission. Unless she's the future mother of your children and has a glittery hoo-ha, I don't think it's worth the risk.
If you must pursue her, it'll be over with him for sure if you do it now. It may or may not be if you wait about it. That to me is the logical reason to be upset when a friend dates an ex, not because you have some sort of ownership but because you're creating a situation where you basically force your friend to be distant from you to avoid being hurt. I think this really comes down to the three of you -- each of your character, personalities, and motivations.
Some of that is known, and some probably unknown. In reading your question a second time, two things jump out at me: It seems to me that if that's truly an option, then you might not be feeling quite the connection that would make it worth it. But maybe you are, and you just like to take things at a moderate pace.
I'm not judging or placing bets here.