Ever met a cute nice guy, but he's boring with no personality? | Lipstick Alley
When someone asks me that I always give the same answer saying that even if some guy is hot and wanted by all girls, despite the physical attraction I would. Attractive women have the most options in the dating game. If you date someone with no personality, then they'll probably have no values; no empathy, no. No personality, yet the man cannot sleep at night or show any affection at all. A relationship with someone whose only emotion towards you is anger is not healthy, and not worth your .. Why on earth are you dating him???.
A flicker of joy and recognition. The person they knew and love is still there, somewhere deep down inside.
Man with no personality - psychology emotion love | Ask MetaFilter
Those moments are what the person longs for. But it is nowhere near as hard as being the one with BPD. My girlfriend is not a burden, her BPD is. For most, it may hold little that feels inspirational. Hearing someone else share your struggles and negotiate the realities of the illness can be both comforting and illuminating.
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Email Us Passion and Fear in BPD Relationships Borderline Personality Disorder is a chronic and complex mental health disorder marked by instability, and interpersonal relationships are often the stage on which this instability plays out.
Barbara Greenberga clinical psychologist who treats patients with BPD, explains: Often, this emptiness and intense fear of abandonment are the result of early childhood trauma and the absence of secure, healthy attachments in the vital formative years.
Paradoxically, the overwhelming fear manifests in behaviors that deeply disrupt the relationship and pushes partners away rather than pulls them closer, resulting in a stormy and tumultuous dynamic that typically emerges in the early days of dating.
Good lookingbut no personality? - ordendelsantosepulcro.info Community Forums
When they are in relationships they get very intensely involved way too quickly. But then what comes along with it, a couple of weeks later, is: Everything is done with passion, but it goes from being very happy and passionate to very disappointed and rageful. Prior to her diagnosis, her boyfriend, Thomas, used to blame himself for her hot and cold behavior. Although each person has their own unique experience, these are some common thought patterns people with BPD tend to have: You deserve a lot better.
If you love yourself, even if it is just a little bit, leave him. And don't look back. It took me three years to make sure he was not married He will NOT say he loves me He will not let me meet his mother Why are you asking what his personality type is? Shouldn't you be asking whether it's a good relationship? The above facts alone make it pretty clear that this isn't a good relationship and isn't likely to change. Leave the personality types to psychologists and start focusing on what you want.
You don't seem to want to be in this relationship. Do yourself a favor and get the hell out. Whatever personality he has is irrelevent -- it is clearly not meshing with YOUR personality, and that is reason enough to leave. That bullshit he's feeding you about how you know him better than anyone in the world is a probably bullshit designed to manipulate you into staying, and b his own problem, which you are not supposed to be dealing with. He just doesn't sound like the sort of guy i'd even want to know for a month or so.
The DSM-IV doesn't include ''Dick'' as a personality disorder unfortunately, but from your description it seems like that is pretty much the case here. I'm so sorry things are hard. You deserve someone who will support you and care for you, rather than adding to your troubles. Why do you even care to label his personality?
Ever met a cute nice guy, but he's boring with no personality?
Would a label make it easier for you to justify staying with him? Because you shouldn't stay with him. You deserve so much better than this jerk.
Figuring out his "personality" will not help anything. Trust me on this. It sounds like your life is difficult -- maybe it's lonely -- but other than that, you haven't given any reason why you'd want to be with this lad.
He seems fairly unhappy - is it compassion on your part? If so, please be sure you aren't in a relationship that will drain and destroy you, because, if you want to help others, you've got to be able to do so - you need to make sure you are in good condition, emotionally.
If this relationship is as sad as it sounds, then you won't be. It actually sounds like you'd be better off with a couple of friends than with this guy. I know it's difficult to make friends; I don't mean to make any kind of change sound trivial.
What You Need to Know When Dating Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder
But it's something to think about. As for your question in the title: I don't know what your boyfriend's personality is, but it sounds like he has serious problems, not just a different personality.
It doesn't sound like he could be happy - no one can make him happy. I get the impression that he would not agree to therapy, but really, he sounds pretty seriously messed up. Be careful, and make sure you are taking care of yourself.
The answer is a resounding NO. Your posting history shows you are a beautiful, intelligent, compassionate and strong-- emotionally and physically-- woman.
The kind of woman I'd be proud to call a friend. You have so much offer a loving man to let it go to waste on Mr. It can be hard accepting the truth after having invested five years with him. Five years is a long time. Your words suggests that, apart from the comfort of routine, you wouldn't be giving up much, if anything at all. All the while, Regardless what his problems might be, they aren't yours.
In every way your personal qualities seem to overshadow what Mr Weirdo Dickface offers. You've gotten all you'll ever get from him along the lines of empathy and concern for your well-being. On the plus side he is cold and withholding. On the down side, he is cruel and abusive. Seriously, get rid of this guy before he destroys you completely. And I am so sorry you have had to experience this torture.
I broke it off with him because he would not make a long term commitment with me, yet he keeps coming back in synch with our sick co-dependency ever present. I'm not sure what you mean by this, but it sounds important. You broke it off, and what exactly happened? This sounds like he's manipulating you - if you left him and he refused to accept it, that's a problem, and a huge warning sign. I don't know much about your situation, but are you really co-dependent on him?
You are your own person, and not only are you able to depend on yourself or you can learn tobut there are many people out there who you can actually depend on this guys doesn't sound like one of them in his current condition. I wanted to talk to him about it but he turned the radio up in the car to shut me out This is shocking and totally unacceptable.
Anyone who does this is not even close to being ready to be in a relationship, and trying to be in a relationship with him regardless isn't helping him or you for goodness sake! Physically cutting off communication like that is virtually unforgivable in my book. Based on your description of the relationship, I'd say that yes, you're being a fool. It doesn't sound fun, enjoyable or satisfying. Are you happy with the way things stand? Are there some elements of either him or the relationship that you like?
Or are As to the second question, I don't know what his personality type is and I wonder why you're asking. The various symptoms you describe sound some sort of clinical definition could be established, but to what point? I wonder if you're not looking for a name so you can better understand why he is the way he is and perhaps also understand you've put up with it for five years. I think the real question here is "Are you happy with this relationship?
If not, then what can you do to change that, realizing that you can't change other people? We have a limited amount of time to be happy. Don't dick around with it. If you don't know how to do that, or what it means, you need to explore a little. But I will tell you that I am certain that sitting around with this guy in a car, in a restaurant, at home--anywhere--cannot possibly be fun. This is long enough. Like the poster above says - don't let him dick around with you, and don't dick around with your life.
Yes, you need to end this relationship, immediately. And when you have doubts about what you're doing, please get back on the green and just re-read your question. Run for your life! Also yeah I'm going there you should get yourself a great therapist to figure out why you've found yourself attracted to such an asshole. From the way you describe him, it seems that he has none.
You haven't given us any reason why you think he is special to you. So why are you still with him??!! It seems like you're asking Metafilter to give you permission to break up with him. Break up with him.
You're in a terrible, cold, unending grey nightmare of a relationship. You dream of nursing a baby, and losing it. Armchair psychologist says you're holding onto this infantile relationship because you fear it is your last chance. You'll hold onto it for the minimum of human contact it gives you in hopes that it might grow into something more mature. Whether he's autistic, damaged, controlling, psychotic, is no matter: You are none of those things.
New love is found by young and old, healthy and well, and most of all by all of us who feel we don't deserve it. Free yourself from the winter of this man. Spring will come for you. That's not going to change, unless you change it by ending the relationship. Like, if you could just define what he is, it might demystify his behavior and the strangely powerful control it has over you. This is so annoying because I totally totally know the answer technical term to your question and I completely can't remember it right now.
I think one colloquialism for the situation generally might be "Tar Baby. In that sense, even trying to figure out what this guy is is only prolonging your agony. This is a point well made many times above in other answers. I hope someone else on the list can digest your description and offer you an answer.6 Signs You’re Dealing With a Toxic Person
With that answer in hand, I hope you can then break the spell t his behavior has over you. It can be terribly difficult to leave an unhealthy relationship, but when all you are experiencing is anger and disappointment, it is time to walk away. I think the litmus test for any relationship is whether it makes you happy more often than it makes you unhappy. It sounds like this guy is bringing a lot of unhappiness into your life right now. Frankly, I don't know how you have lived with it for this long.
Do you want to label his personality type because it would make a difference in how you relate to each other? Would it make it easier or harder to walk away? He could be anything: Just because someone has a mental illness and I'm not necessarily saying he doesdoesn't mean they can't also be an asshole. I don't know what keeps you engaged in this relationship, but I hope you can separate yourself from it.
You can't control how he behaves or how he treats you, but you can control how you react to him and how you choose to live your life. Please take care of yourself and choose happiness. You deserve some joy, and I promise, you can find it without this guy in your life. From the description he certainly is displaying many autistic traits but that doesn't mean is isn't also an asshole. The sex had better be really, really good. Therapy might help a little but most of them are so deeply bogged down by the disorder that they don't think anything is wrong with them So don't hold your breath and wait for him to get therapy; he won't.
There is nothing you can do about his personality and it will not get better. Disorder or not, he's poison either way, and it sounds like you know this. He'll never seek treatment, but you can. Cyanide and go talk to a counselor to figure out why you remained in a soul-crushing relationship for so long, and to fix it so it won't happen again.
Don't let five years become six years become seven THAT would make you a fool. Let him find someone else to "know more about him than anyone else in the world," I personally would not want to be that person, as he doesn't sound like a nice man to know.
I thought Sushma's description was of someone who was willfully being awful and manipulative. Did I read too much into things? From the description it seemed like the bf if you can call him that keeps the relationship one-sided because he is exceptionally needy and probably enjoys being cruel on some level. Throw in a woman like Sushma who is both vulnerable to his "charms" and living in the city where he contracts work I assume he "can't live without" Sushma especially during those times he is contracted to be working in her city.
I assume when he is back in his home state, Sushma has a very difficult time reaching him by phone or email. So far we have: Clever Manipulation, Drinking self-medicating?
I bet he has a full range of techniques he deploys in all sorts of situations to cover his true thoughts and actions and some hint at a Dysfunctional Family history