7 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Date Someone New | Her Campus
Dating. If you want to ensure you don't drift into deep waters you might later regret , it's good to take time to ask yourself some simple questions before you get too. Here are 14 questions to ask yourself to ensure that your next relationship is the happiest, healthiest one yet. Anyway, the questions these dating sites ask are helpful when trying to find a date, and when you're thinking of starting a long-term relationship.
And the test will come like a train on a dark and stormy night!
Do they love from their insecurities or do they love from their strengths? Does their love demand? Or does there love give? Love can be the worst form of manipulation there is. Your partner can look and smell like a rose, and yet continue to prick you with their sharpened barbs.
Does your partner seek out ways to understand how you receive love and meet that need? Do you do the same? When someone loves from their strengths they know who they are and are drawing from a deep, full well to give to you without demanding a drink in return.
How does my partner handle money? Is your partner a saver or a spender? Are they willing to honestly talk about money at all or is the topic taboo? Honestly, going into marriage with my wife I really struggled talking about money. I let money and the honest conversations about it become a wedge in my relationship.
The Scariest Dating Questions You Need To Ask Yourself | HuffPost
Conversations about money can be the great time bomb in a relationship. When you think about your future together, can you list three things that you think would be excruciating to let go?
Maybe leaving your home state and your family feels like an impossibility. Maybe you never want to work a standard job in a cubicle. Identify what you feel are non-negotiables now so you can avoid any large, gaping ravines ahead. Does religious faith play a role in your present and do you want faith to play a role in your future?
The Scariest Dating Questions You Need To Ask Yourself
What do you truly believe about how to live your life and what happens when you die? Weighty questions, I know, but important ones.
- 7 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Date Someone New
I really believe that if there are large differences in your faith now, those will only become bigger and more cumbersome as your relationship progresses. Especially when kids come into the equation.
How will you raise them? What do you want them to believe? Have you both tackled your monsters? Like that yearbook from our awkward years, we all have things we hope our partner will never lay eyes on.
And marriage has the amazing ability to take all that you hoped remained hidden, and put it on stage for a nationally televised interview that your in-laws will be watching. Tackle your monsters now. Begin to ditch those bags now. Do we enjoy doing the mundane together? Marriage is as every day as it gets. Marriage is budgets, laundry, broken toilets, work, weddings, funerals, births, and everything in between.
Because marriage is built on a million more mundane moments than magical. How do you envision marriage after 10 years?
Are you traveling the world with your spouse? Do you have three kids encased in white picket glory? Are you both working corporate jobs? Are you doing missions work in a different country?
Do you have six kids and are driving a bus across the nation to perform a family rhythmic gymnastics routine at county fairs? And how much you love being an hour's drive from the ocean. Letting go of your own dream can be crushing; letting go of a shared dream can be downright devastating, especially if you see that your partner is still gung ho on it. This is not going to be a fun conversation, but it's possible he would be open to a compromise.
Maybe you can move to the suburbs, where you can have a garden and remain just a few hours from the beach. Maybe you agree to move West for a few years, and set up a vacation budget for the occasional long weekend near the shoreline. There are a million maybes that may just work.
And there are a few that might not work at all. It could dawn on you that your cold feet have nothing to do with the dream -- and everything to do with the person who comes along with it.
15 Questions You Need to Ask When Dating
Instead of moving together, one of you may be moving out, or moving forward, solo. Okay, so hopefully you won't ever battle for your life World War Z-style, but and this is a corollary to the above question when things seem like they can't get any worse -- and then your car breaks down in the middle of a rainstorm while you're blocking an intersection -- who would you want to be there with you? Not a perfect clone of Brad Pitt, per se, but someone who's ready and willing to see you at your screaming, ugly-crying worst -- and vice versa.3 Powerful Questions To Ask A Guy You're Dating
Now is the time to climb a ladder of why's, as in: Why do I feel like I can't trust him or her to be there for me? Maybe your climb stops there, with "because it's date No. So why does that worry me? So maybe you start with small acts of trust -- like asking your partner to pick up a prescription because you can't get off work before the pharmacy closes -- that can make you feel as if you can count on him to help tackle anything the rise of the undead included.
As quickly as this question comes to mind, we're likely to bat it away, because after a few too many nice-but-not-right dates, it's easy for another, more insidious fear to slither in along with it: The key to getting out of the rut -- bear with our mushiness here, please -- can be focusing on you. Not in a tour-the-world Eat, Pray, Love sort of way, but in a figure-out-what-you-love-to-do-and-do-it way. Martha Beck compares each of us to a bell curve: