How to Avoid Awkward Silence on a Date
First dates are exciting but also nerve-wracking. Follow these eight steps to avoid awkward silences, and you'll be killing the dating game in no. Do awkward silences always mean incompatibility? I started dating my bf two months ago, but he has been away for the past 6 wks (military). Ever been on a date peppered with so many awkward pauses that time seems to drag on forever? Keep these 8 tips in mind to avoid those awkward silences!.
Putting it out there helps defuse the situation. For basically the whole first month -- he raised his eyebrows and said, "Two months" -- I was so nervous and awkward and silly.
A lot of it was what you're saying -- I really liked him and felt we connected, and I hadn't had that feeling in a long time without it being followed by trouble, and I was so afraid of being hurt, and of being rejected by someone I really admired.
I just had to keep telling myself that 1 he seemed to be really into me too and 2 if for some reason it didn't last, it really was not the end of the world.
I used milestones to kind of check in with how I was feeling about it after a month: And we were, and I did. That's just one scenario. But yeah, it's possible. Do y'all ever have just comfortable silence? You don't have to talk all the time, you know. And if you want him to ask more questions about you, tell him. And tell him if you're feeling nervous. Maybe you can both laugh about it a little, and it won't be so scary anymore. I do not think you will know the answer to your question until you spend more time together in person, but my feeling is that your relationship didn't really put down roots and you may be wiser to let it go.
It sounds kind of rough if you've considered yourself this guy's girlfriend for two months and he's been gone for six weeks of that time. At this point you may be overthinking it. With him being only 20, that's pretty young for a man or a woman, and he's probably going through a lot of personal changes, while you at 27 are probably ready for something a little more stable. It might benefit you to think of this as a relatively casual fun thing, if that's the sort of thing you're looking for.
How to Avoid Awkward Silence on a Date
I personally have never had trouble conversing with a person that I'm dating - but, for me, usually good conversations are what lead to more serious dating in the first place. It certainly doesn't mean you're not right for each other. It can take a while to become truely comfortable with someone. I know for me it takes a really long time.
My advice would be that you should really try to relax and just be yourself. Try not to focus on whether the relationship is going well and instead focus on just having a good time. Dont put so much presure on yourself. Just to offer a counterpoint to wondermouse, it can work well. Your relationship is quite new. You're both likely nervous. If he sounds happy enough and is making plans with you for when he gets back, just try to give it time and see where things go.
It can take time to build up that comfort level, because in the very new stages, we're often so worried about putting forward the very best impression of ourselves that we don't full rlax.
Also, it's possible he's just not a big conversationalist. He may express himself more nonverbally and through other gestures.
I'm sure with being away on a ship in the military, he's also had lots on his mind. So if it's worth it to you to try when he's back, go for it, and try to relax a little more. You won't know if you're non-physically incompatible until you actually have time to get to know him better. When that awkward moment comes stay right there in the present moment with her. Let yourself feel that awkward tension while keeping strong eye contact.
As you look at her you may likely start to notice feelings of attraction popping up. You might even start having thoughts of the two of you getting physical together. Let yourself really enjoy these thoughts and feelings of attraction.
Do awkward silences necessarily = incompatibility? | Ask MetaFilter
If she feels that sexual vibe coming from you, it will start to awaken her own feelings of sexual attraction. When you go on a date together look to do something active. Take her out someplace fun — to a comedy show or mini golf. Talk to your date as if she were the queen, with that much respect and that much politeness.
People love to talk about themselves.
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If you are nervous at the beginning, encourage your date to do the talking until you have calmed yourself down. Every time she says something, make a statement that affirms it.
8 Ways to Avoid Awkward Silence on a Date
Then you can ask a question. What kind of dog do you have? The last thing you want after a hard day at work is to go on a date and be drilled.
On the first date, you should casually get to know each other, not access if she is ultimate marriage material. At this point, it is more about just seeing if the two of you click. Do something active I always encourages clients to go on active dates to avoid the sit-down dinner date.