The Universal Bro Code: The Bro Code Rules
4) A bro never divulges the existence of the Bro Code to a woman. will become agitated or even violent after he calmly explains his desire to hook up with her friends. 19) A bro shall not sleep with another bro's sister. 25) A Bro doesn't let another Bro get a tattoo, particularly a tattoo of a girl's name. You're no friend if you cannot watch out for him. 2. If his girlfriend You must do all you can to save your bro from dating an ugly girl. Chances are You just cannot get involved with your bro's mother or sister. It is one of the . A bro shall never let another bro get his girlfriend's name tattooed. Enough said. ARTICLE 4 A Bro never divulges the existence of the Bro Code to a woman. ARTICLE 19 A Bro shall not sleep with another Bro's sister. ARTICLE 25 A Bro doesn't let another Bro get a tattoo, particularly a tattoo of a girl's name. ARTICLE 51 A Bro checks out another Bro's blind date and reports back.
Even if she was truly nasty, a bro will make excuses for his bro. The wingman should swiftly punish any such attempts. Afterwards the bro who infringed upon this rule may be confronted by the whole circle of bros. If a bro should ask you if its alright, unless the need is great or direct ownership is applied, you will let him have it.
Common courtesy and the bro code go hand in hand. A chick may be treated as a bro but never told of the rules. Space must always be found or made for a drunk bro who needs to leave.
If necessary, the theft of phone and keys shall be done for his own good. No exceptions to this rule. When a bro is truly smashed and his girl calls, the phone will be confiscated until a sober state of mind is achieved. Studies show that 8 out of 10 bros will do this without thinking. The other 2 bros claimed he was still with them but unavailable to talk.
All things done by a drunk bro must be forgiven.
Doing so will force your bro to imagine you naked and this is unforgivable. The Alpha-Bro should always be handing out the wisdom and power of his skill.
A bro will always recognize the master seducer of the group. If the bro declines your invitation to bust some moves, you must adhere to his wishes and find a new target. If a bro proceeds to become butt-hurt about your success where he failed, you are under no obligations to make him feel better or apologize for your success. No matter how bad. Especially if the tattoo is of a girl. Chicks will dump you and play with your heart, but a bro will protect you like his own private parts.
And under no circumstances shall it be broken. The bro life is like being in Jedi training camp. You must always show your bro love and be joyous when bro love is shown to you.
Never take your bro-mance too far. And if anyone should remark negatively upon your bro-mance. Cloth pockets are roomier and more elastic, allowing for a thicker wad of cash. One word, two syllables, three hours in the ER: These erotic dancers have practiced tirelessly on a technically demanding piece of choreographed art.
Would you wear dungarees to a ballet? Not even in Europe. However, to avoid Broflation, a Bro is only allowed to alert one Bro. However, a Bro never thinks of them in that capacity.
If both call dibs at the same time, the Bro who counts aloud to ten the fastest has dibs. If both arrive at the same number ten at the same time, the Bro who bought the last round of drinks has dibs.
A Bro is off the hook if his Bro orders a drink that arrives with an umbrella in it. To eliminate the possibility of any akward moments in the future, his Bro shall also refrain from any pejorative commentary—deserved or not—regarding said lady friend for a period of three months, when requisite backslide window has fully closed.
ARTICLE 68 If a Bro be on a hot streak, another Bro will do everything possible to ensure its longevity, even if that includes jeopardizing his own personal records, the missing of work, or, if necessary, generating a realistic frear that the end of the world is imminent Exeptions: ARTICLE 73 When a group of Bros are in a restaurant, each shall engage in the time-honored ritual of jockeying to pay the bill, regardless of affordability.
When the group ultimately dicides to divide the check, each Bro shall act upset rather than enormously relieved. ARTICLE 74 At a red light, a Bro inches as close as possible to the rear bumber of the car in front of him, and then immediately honks his horn when the light turns green. Big-time no-no -To commemorate and solidify the unbreakable bond between Bro and wingman, it is recommended that before going out, each face the other, place his left hand on The Bro Code, raise his right hand, and recites the Wingman Pledge.
The Wingman Pledge I shall uphold the Bro Code to the fullest of my ability I will never allow my wingman to go home with less than a six.
I agree to swap rounds of drinks with my wingman, even if I keep getting stuck paying for shots. I will never rack jack my wingman, no matter how hot the chick.
I pledge to never leave a wingman behind when invited to a party. If my wingman gets rejected by a chick, I shall unequivocally agree that she sucked anyway, even if I thought she seemed kind of cool and interesting.
Should my wingman strike up a conversation with a chick of a questionable legal age, I will endeavor to ascertain and verify her birth of date. I shall honor and respect the dibs system. Rules for Riding the Tricycle 1.
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The aggregate age of all three participants shall not exceed eighty-three years. Pregnant woman shall consult with their physician before riding the tricycle 5. No black-soled sneakers 7.OUR LITTLE SISTER HAS A BOYFRIEND!
Female participants shall refrain from destroying the illusion that this is new to them. Kitchen appliances and other electrical devices are strictly forbidden. Participants must shower before riding the tricycle, and definitely after.
He can, however, ask the Bro to prove it, traditionally in the form of a wager. So if a Bro plans on chugging a six-pack, he shall bring a six-pack plus at least one can of beer. The Bro did this a couple of times because he thought it was hysterical—an d it kind of is— until one night he walked into the bar to discover a Hawaiian Tropic calendar shoot taking place.
The Bro texted his Bros in terror: But this time his Bros paid no heed to his cry, nor did they leave their video game marathon to assist him. The Bro tried to score at a bikini babe on his own, but with no wingman, he was torn to pieces by the entire flock.