boondocks Guess Hoe's Coming to Dinner - video dailymotion
He is the grandfather of Huey and Riley Freeman. Robert is really into girls and wants to date one, even though he usually does . The Boondocks Characters. Watch The Boondocks - Season 4, Episode 6 - Grandad Dates a Kardashian: Grandad begins dating a long lost Kardashian sister and Huey. This is going to be a reality show based on Kardashia Kardashian, and her dating Robert. They walk in,and Riley and Huey confront the.
I was lookin' for bitches but they had that carpet shit all over them and I couldn't see what they look like. All that was really exposed was the eyes and that wasn't enough for me, cause you know shit I'm lookin' at the eyes, the eyes be pretty and I take the carpet off and then I got a tragedy. But nah we ain't find 'em. Simply because you don't have evidence that something does exist does not mean that you have evidence that something doesn't exist.
What country you from? They speak english in "What"? So you understand the words I'm sayin' to you. Well what I'm sayin' is that there are known knowns and that there are known unknowns but there's also unknown unknowns. Things we don't know that we don't know. Rummy and Ed III place the cartons on the counter.
Hey Ed, Rummy my close friends and allies it is good to see you. Go put dis in tha truck. Hey slow your roll chief. You guy have to pay for that first. Chill out, Aladdin Hussein. You know I'm good for it.
Hey guys you know the rules. No exceptions, cash only. Look, he got a weapon! Whoa, wait a minute now, points his M at the clerk Put the gun down. I'm not holding a gun. Ed, your father help me build this store. There is no weapon, look! There is no weapon, they're robbing the store!
I am not holding a weapon! He does not have a gun! Man, fuck this shit! Whose side you on? Mine, or this muthafucker who's obviously of terrorist descent? Wait, I think I can see the gun now! The Story of Gangstalicious [1. Ironically, he was doing his new joint "I Got Shot" at the time. Three men rush the stage and shoot Gangstalicious. No, I got shot for real!
I got shot for real! No goddammit, I got shot! Somebody please, help me, help me Ya'll niggas is in for it, now!
We need a car. We gon' have to jack someone. I dropped the gun.
Granddad Dates a Kardashian
You dropped the gun? What's done is done, let's be solution oriented. How you gonna drop the gun, Gangstalicious? That is NOT gangsta! That's VERY not gangsta! Man, I can't believe this. Oh I'm a fraud? I'm a fraud, I'm a fraud. I'm just an average, normal dude. I'm tired of gettin' shot. It's like going to heaven and finding God smokin' crack!
A Huey Freeman Christmas [1. You want me to direct the Christmas play? Uberwitz I would really love to see your vision. What do you know about my vision? My vision would turn your world upside down, tear asunder your illusions and send the sanctuary of your own ignorance crashing down around you. Have y'all lost your damn minds? Opening night is less than two weeks away and y'all wanna party?
We're just having some fun. Do I look like Charlie Brown? All y'all are fired! Are you sure that's a good idea? The kids looks at Quincy Jones. Hey, don't be lookin' at me. Don't look at Quincy Jones! Quincy Jones ain't gonna help you! Get ya' asses out! And what would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas? I want- uh, uh Santa, you got a red dot on your head.
Riley fires the gun Uncle Ruckus: That had to pierce a spleen or something. Santa uses girl to block bullets and girl screams in pain Girl: You ruined my childhood! You gonna pay what you owe, Santa! You gonna pay what you owe. Running like a bitch. I can't run very fast. I think I'm having a heart attack and a couple of light strokes. The PTA is threatening a boycott of the play since you fired all the kids.
We just had a couple of notes. He can't be black. Maybe we can make Jesus another color. But Jesus was black. We could probably do Italian. Jesus was Middle Eastern. In addition to Arabs, the Middle East has always had many people of African descent, whom you would consider black. Clears throat, presents contract Principal: The Adventures of Black Jesus Riley: Dear Santa, you are a bitch nigga.
Wait, hol'up, hol'up, hol'up. Dear Santa, you are a bitch ass nigga. I heard the mall is hiring extra security to protect you. That's a bitch move, Santa!
I'm coming for that ass again until you pay what you owe! Sincerely yours, the Santa Stalker. Everytime I lose a tooth, the tooth fairy takes it away and leaves a dollar under my pillow. There ain't no such thing as the tooth fairy. Then who's leaving the money?
They have both the cash and the access to your room. Why would they lie to me? Because the truth hurts Jazmine. The world is a hard and lonely place and nobody gets anything for free. And you want to know what else? One day, you and everyone you know is gonna die.
You enjoy abusing peoples' illusions. I wear sunglasses because my idol Dr. Bill Cosby wears sunglasses all the time, and you know what they say: Just thought you might want to talk to someone who understands. You don't know me. I know you better than you think, Huey Freeman. All I'm saying is when Xzibit brings that car back you goin' be bitches. What did you call me?! I mean "bitches" like you gonna have so many bitches that's what niggas gonna call you.
You just called your granfather "bitches"! Yeah, but I don't mean "bitches" in a desrespectful way. I mean it as a general word for women. And you're gonna let him get away with this?
Granddad, I'm just sayin' you might have to change your middle name from Jebediah to Bitches. Is all I'm tryin' say. Hmm, Granddad "Bitches" Freeman. Hoo, has a nice ring to it.
Did you hear that? I don't hear anything. It's Huey's make-believe government agent in our bathroom taking a dump. This is what I got all those ass-whoopings for? I had a dream once.
Attack of the Killer Kung-Fu Wolf Bitch
It was a dream that little black boys and little black girls would drink from the river of prosperity, freed from the thirst of oppression. But lo' and behold, some four decades later, what have I found but a bunch of trifling, shiftless, good-for-nothing niggas; and I know you some of you don't want to hear me say that word. It's the ugliest word in the English language. But that's what I see now — niggas. And you don't want to be a nigga. Because niggas are living contradictions. Niggas are full of unfulfilled ambitions!
Niggas wax and wane, niggas love to complain, niggas love to hear themselves talk but hate to explain! Niggas love being another man's judge and jury! Niggas procrastinate until it's time to worry!
Niggas love to be late! Niggas hate to hurry! And now I'd like to talk about Soul Plane I've seen what's around the corner! I've seen what's over the horizon! And I promise you, you niggas have nothing to celebrate! And no, I won't get there with you- I'm going to Canada. Then, something unexpected happened: Nobody knows exactly what to attribute to the sharp decline in African American dropout rates Billionaire Bob Johnson apologizing to Black America for the network he founded Huge crowd seen protesting loudly in front of the gates of the White House.
Police shoot tear gas into the crowd. Newspaper, datedsub-headline: Martin Luther King Jr. Oprah Winfrey Elected President Huey: Hey everyone, I brought peach cobbler. Dubois, your peach cobbler look like throw up. Look it look like throw up with peas in it. Dubois, you been eatin' peas? Boy come here; what wrong with you? What's wrong with me? What's wrong with her? She da one who brought vomit over here in a tupperware container. That is not vomit.
It just look like vomit. Now apologize to Mrs Dubois. Dubois, I'm sorry your peach cobbler look like vomit with peas. Guys, please, you know we don't have to I don't care if you beat me Granddad, I won't eat it! It's completely uncalled for! You'll eat it if I have to hold you down and shove it down your throat. Really I didn't mean for it to be I know what you're tryin' do. You tryin' kill me. Riley runs out the room with Granddad running after him. Riley while Granddad is talking: I don't wanna eat the cobbler!
I present to you A full-pound burger patty covered in cheese, grilled onion, five strips of bacon, all sandwiched between- Riley: Two Krispy Kreme donuts! It's called The Luther because it was supposed to have been invented by Mr. Luther Vandross is dead! Sausage and waffle and fried chicken breakfast lasagna? Granddad, you can't serve this kind of stuff to people! Shame on you, Huey! You move out to the suburbs, and suddenly you too good for soul food. Perhaps you would enjoy your spotted cheese in a buttered scone, white boy?
Riley passes out Boy, boy, are you okay?! I'm sure it's just The Itis, right? That or insulin shock! Yeah, I'm not sure yellin' at him is gonna help, Granddad. How do you not know CPR? I tried to learn CPR, but they wouldn't let me.
I call hulk's back. Let's Nab Oprah [1. Man, I don't get that. And what's wrong with textin'? I mean, why would anyone in their right mind spend fifteen minutes tryin' to type some shit they could've called and said in five seconds?
Plus, it involves typing with your thumbs, which I just don't approve of. Nothing typed by someone's thumbs has ever been important. It's all just Nigga Technology anyway. What'd you call it?
The Boondocks: Season 4 - Rotten Tomatoes
And you don't start trippin' and shit, call me a racist. Shit, I be textin' my ass off, shit, bitches like text! I be textin' 'em all the time; 'matter of fact, I also be textin' my weed man, too, cause, you know, he don't like to be on the phone, so I text 'im! So basically, Nigga Technology is anything that doesn't plug into a printer.
Does that plug into a printer? Huey and Riley are fighting in the kitchen Granddad: I ain't doin' nothin', Granddad! I was just gon' go to Ed's house, and Huey said I couldn't go 'cause he a hater! What the hell is wrong with you, Huey? If your brother wants to play with Ed and Rummy, that's his business!
Ed and Rummy are international criminals! There he go hatin' again! What about the time when Riley and Ed were playing with a loaded shotgun, and Riley shot Ed out of a second-story window?! Okay, so just 'cause Ed believes in his Second Amendment right to bear arms, we can't be friends? What you got against the Bill of Rights, Huey?! Okay, how about the time they stopped for gas and ended up robbing the mini-mart?! They was fightin' terrorism! Makin' the world safe for the freedoms that we enjoy today!
That's messed up, you don't support the troops, Huey! That is kind of messed up, Huey. Riley Wuz Here [1. It says, "Riley wuz here. Well maybe it was another Riley. You dropped these pictures pictures show Riley posing in front of his graffitiand, umm, you have paint all over your hands.
Riley, graffiti is a serious crime. Now as the assistant district attorney, I'd have to arrest you and send you to jail, and you wouldn't want that, would you?
The way you was talkin, they was fi'in to wear that ass out. So we're all agreed that none of us want to go to jail.
The Boondocks (season 1) - Wikiquote
And then there was somethin' about a salad, or somethin'? They make you eat vegetables every night and they're not Uhhhh, is the cop here for me or Riley? Your brother got caught spraying graffiti on Wait, why would he be here for you? Fine, I knew y'all was gonna find a way to blame me for this.
- Coming Soon
- Robert Freeman
- boondocks Guess Hoe's Coming to Dinner
Say hello to the bad guy! But a white man told me to do it. Wait a minute, what white man? What did he look like? I just assumed he was in charge. And just what did this white man look like? I don't talk to police! Boy, you better work your mouth! If you gonna take me to jail then take me to jail! Let's have some mountains and some clouds; oh, and of course some joyful little trees I love painting trees. What do you like to paint, Riley? Hehehheh, aside from your own name, of course.
I got in trouble 'cause a you. I thought it was yo' house. It was my mistake. But you'll find I don't really believe in mistakes. I believe in "happy accidents. Well, Riley, I certainly don't want to keep you here if you don't want to.
Your granddad wants to make sure I make you do just one drawing a day — then you can go. I jus' gotta draw one thing? Anything you want, heheh, have fun. Nothing, nothing at all.
I'll call your granddad and tell him you're walking home. You ain't have to ball it up and throw it in the trash! Yo' mama shoulda raised you better. Continues to paint Riley: Hey hey, Robert hey! I heard you was going to be delevering the eulogy. I think that mighty nice of you. I know you and Mo had some bad blood. Well, what's in the past is in the past. Starts laughing Yeah, I remember how Mo talk about how he couldn't stand yo black ass.
I remember it like it was last week. Matter of fact, I think it was last week. Aw man, you should have heard him, Robert!
He was on ah roll, heh! You was all kinds of bitches and motherfuckers! He was like Chappelle or something! He called me a motherfucker last week?! He said that last week?! Sho did, I think Tuesday. Well, ain't this a bitch? And what surprised me, was you be all kinds motherfuckers really had nothing to do with tha damn conversation. What was we talking about? Puts his hand on Granddad shoulder. Whoo, you a bigger man than me. Starts to walk away.
I don't think I can talk nice about somebody who said that kind of stuff bout me or my mama, hmp. Well, you already here. He said he left you something nice. You might as well go on and get it over with.
Do you know what you gonna say? Just read this she presents a piece of paper to him. He thought you might have some trouble. We used to call him "Mo bitches"? Even his brother rebukes him for doing this, but he doesn't stop. This singular act epitomizes his lack of respect for his grandfather. Robert can be viewed as selfishly motivated most of the time.
He has openly admitted he was ashamed of his grandsons, and went so far as to spend their inheritance on his dream home in his dream neighborhood, moving Huey, and Riley against their will. In fact, he somewhat regularly ignores the desires and needs of his grandchildren, such as in Guess Hoe's Coming to Dinner, when he buys willy-nilly to appease the expensive tastes of his prostitute-girlfriend, while ignoring his grandsons' objections to her obvious corrosive effect on them as a family.
Though the woman's cover is eventually blown when her pimp shows up to retrieve her, he does exhibit signs of genuine love for her, hopelessly waiting for her to return long into the night after she is taken away by her pimp. This causes his grandsons, especially Huey, to sympathize with him despite getting what they ultimately wanted. Robert has been shown to have mastery with his use of a belt, due to his experience of using it on Riley often.
His aptitude with it is such that he can use his belt as a whip to restrain a target, and comfortably use it as a weapon, seen in such episodes as Guess Hoe's Coming to DinnerStinkmeaner Strikes Back and The Story of Thugnificent.
Robert, having experienced the Civil Rights Movement firsthand, doesn't take the slighting of his race lightly. Uncle Ruckusa self-hating black racist, butts heads with Robert often. Despite this, he is probably considered to be the closest thing Ruckus has, and ever had, to a friend. Robert also uses his involvement in the Civil Rights Movement as a justification for spending his grandsons' inheritance on a big house in a nice suburb, noting how he helped make such an act possible, whereas it wouldn't have been an option were segregation still in existence.
However, Huey noted in comparison to his fellow protesters, he did relatively little Robert claimed he got hosed down in the Civil Rights Movement to get his house, while Huey noted he didn't get hoes at all. Robert also seems to be out of touch with popular culture in current society, as shown when Riley Freeman introduces something to him.
In the comic strip, he saw Riley playing the Grand Theft Auto III videogame assuming it was a form of "cops and robbers", learning later Riley was the "robber". However, he later played with him on the same game on 2-player mode.
His understanding of slang and metaphors is very limited, when he believed having a 'Urolagnia golden shower' was a good thing, which amused Riley The Trial of R. He also has limited knowledge of gangsta rappers, which at one point eventually started a beef with a rapper named Thugnificent The Story of Thugnificent. He referred to Xzibit as "inhibit", and believed Usher was literally a singing usher.
Also, he has recently discovered internet dating and is aware of social networks such as MySpace. He kills a blind old man losing to him earlier on accident. One of Roberts is on episode one while in the car he spells behave wrong. Robert also hates Thugnificent. Robert can be viewed selfish sometimes. Robert is a very scared man and lazy most of the times. Robert was in a situation where Lando Freeman thought he was his son. Robert then dated his last woman Ebony Brown but she turned him down.
Robert was addicted to weed beliving he was going to die. Robert has also been shown to not like reading importants stuff like contracts and forms. He is now in debt and has to serve as a slave to Ruckus and Eddie Wuncler. Robert during season 4 is desperate for money even taking it to far to a point where he becomes a prostitute for lonely women at a nursing home when he is claimed by two pimps.
Despite his attempts to "turn the bus around" Granddad was led into dangerous territory. He also begins dating a long-lost Kardashian sister and winds up on a reality show.
Relationships Riley Robert treats Riley the way he does because of the way Riley disobeys Robert's authority. The rules that Robert sets do not get to Riley which makes him not used to them. Robert uses physical force to try to keep Riley in line, but Riley is already used to it so it does not change his actions towards Robert.