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Racism and online dating: my experience | Life and style | The Guardian

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  • Taunted and fetishised: being an African American man in Australia

African-American cuisine from the southern USA. Soul food is the edible transformation of the scraps tossed to us during slavery: We now sold this cuisine in a mostly white suburb filled with yoga and pilates studios and fresh juice bars. The young woman glowed while discussing her love of the music wafting from our speaker: She confessed that underneath her slightly tanned skin was the vibrant soul of an African-American woman.

For black men, the white Australian fetish is often based on myths about black male phallic size and prowess in bed.

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The thirst, as our community calls it, is evident whenever black military service members take shore leave. I recall one year, while living in Woolloomooloo, seeing a news story featuring American sailors on shore leave.

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They were here as part of annual war game exercises off the eastern coast. Later that night, while at a nightclub in Kings Cross, a white woman in a sea-blue skirt sauntered up to me.

The club was split like a grade school dance with girls on one side and boys on the other until several African-American men entered the club. One single black male I knew arrived in Sydney to work in retail for a couple of years.

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JR had a wealth of experience in the USA and came over on a sponsored visa. He told me that every Australian woman he slept with always asked him the same question: White-run clubs soaking up black American culture without actual black people.

Racism and online dating: my experience

They include ritzy dens or glittering rooftops where bouncers scrutinise us. A popular club in Martin Place had a couple of large Pasifika men as bouncers at the door eyeing my friends and me up and down before settling on our shoes: It is a frustrating practice as I often try to overdress my way into clubs to reduce my chances of being denied entry.

Michael, an outspoken friend of ours, in an act of protest, gave it to the bouncers. He labelled them pawns: Brown Yes-Men plucked out by the white club owners to faithfully reduce the number of other brown people allowed inside. JR, who was also out with us that night, decided to return with him a second time to the club.

Being an African-American man in Australia | SBS Life

I keep a personal rule to write off attending any establishment where I have ever felt slighted due to the colour of my skin. It is a practice that I brought over with me from being discriminated against in my hometown of Raleigh, North Carolina. There, we had an excellent first round. I drank an elegant Negroni while my wife consumed a well-executed vodka martini, her drink of choice to accompany the giant Afro wig that she was wearing.

From there, we debated about whether to proceed up to the third floor to admire the famed harbour view, but ended up going for round two instead. Then we parked ourselves on one of the tables outside. My wife and her friend commented on the men in the bar while I enjoyed a Corona.

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