I know 6 women who are just in their 40's, never married, no kids. . carefully discern whether we are enough on the same page that our lives. It only takes a minute to sign in and view our never married singles for FREE! Never Married, the premiere online dating site exclusively for the never married. Some 30% of U.S. adults who have never been married say they have ever used an online dating site or mobile dating app.
I am now a horrible person. I have no hope, no faith and nothing to sustain me except an unquenchable curiosity at what comes next; what fresh misery will befall me. Unfortunately a core cowardliness prevents me from simply committing suicide.
It has now become my only remaining hope that I can die heroically. I find myself taking greater risks and acting with less and less regard for my own life.
I only hope that nobody else jeopardizes their lives trying to save mine. The more I look into the marriage issue, the more I realized that good people like myself never married but the badasses are in and out of marriages all the time, producing kids. These much lower moral people don't give a damn about responsiblity and emotion. I have never had a girlfriend, never had sex or any other form of intimate contact with women though I was hugged and kissed once, neither being at my instigation.
I believe I am physically tolerable to look at women have described me as young and angelic looking and my weight is normal for my height. I do physical exercise cycling and light weights on alternate days. I am not single by choice and I am extremely lonely. I do have some hobbies that help to keep me sane though. Seeing married couples and parents with children, on the other hand, upsets me greatly.
Somehow I feel I have completely failed in my "life mission" that was pre-programmed into me - finding love, getting married, having children and supporting them and my spouse.
Like other respondents, I have had feelings sometimes strong for members of the opposite sex, though whenever I have tried to act upon them it has ended in failure. I am not shy around women either - I am actually more comfortable around them than I am men.
Unfortunately my life took a terrible turn about 15 years ago when I was assaulted by a gang whilst I was innocently walking home alone one weekend. They did a lot of damage to me physically and I still suffer chronic pain every day of my life. I was retrenched from my employment 10 years ago as I was no longer able to function due to the pain and I have not had paid work since. At least I own my home and am debt free, though the retrenchment and the chronic pain will mean that I will need to claim a part pension upon reaching retirement age.
Because of this situation, trying find a relationship is beyond hopeless. I could offer a lot of emotional love and perform the household domestic duties as I do for myself nowbut financially I could not support a family or spouse and my numerous chronic health problems would mean that any social life would for the most part be within the walls of my home. I have no idea at all if I could satisfy a women sexually, as I have absolutely zero experience and would not hire a prostitute because of my moral stance on having loveless sex.
I would do anything to go back in time to the day before I was assaulted, but the reality is I have to live each day at a time. I would dearly love human companionship but at the very least I do have a cat who absolutely loves me and follows me everywhere I go. I honestly hope that people dont have to go through what I am going through.
I feel like I am a completely useless person and of zero value to society. It might seem stereotypical, but I feel I am nothing but a burden on both society and the people close to me, even though I am able to function fully independantly except financially.
I wish any single person who wishes to get married all the very best, though I agree with what others have said - I still think it is best to be single no matter what than unhappily married. It kills me, however, knwoing how much love is inside me but there won't ever be anyone to experience it. I think every human deserves to experience loving someone and being loved by someone.
But for me, the fact that no one outside my immediate famiy has ever loved me burns a hole straight through my heart. Never felt very close to my dates. I've always been physically attracted to women, to the present day. But the last time I truly felt "I have to get to know this person" was like when I was But I was too shy and insecure, etc.
Never felt the fire the same since. I'm not attractive, and I'm and overweight. I walk almost an hour a day briskly, but I eat too much. I don't want to find out what kind of fatter pig I would look like if I didn't walk every day, giving I'm already a fat pig over 8 years ago I am a 34yr old male who works 5 days a week who also lives at home with his parents.
Unfortunately the ladies look down on me for that.
The problem in this day and age women generally do not need a man to take care of them security or financially. We are experiencing the independent female today. Its also a myth that women take more more notice of personality then looks believe me i have found that out the hard way.
Got close once, but I was in the wrong occupation. I had just re-enlisted in the Navy for 6 years. This was during "Vietnam", so I got dropped like a hot iron! Nah, the "Feminist Movement" made it quite plain I was never needed or wanted.
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So when I "go" my bennies go too! I don't belong to an outer space community. I am 49 years old woman, traveler surgeon and nice. I realized that i needed to do something I always wanted to be a surgeon instead a radiologist It was hard at the beginning but when I fulfilled my dreams and became a surgeon I found my husband I am pregnant at this age.
I didn't want to but my husband wanted absolutely to have a kid with me because he told me a few words that changed my mind: I know I won't live so long to see him growing.
My husband is a 49 years doctor also and a very successful one My cousins and friends who kept nagging about my single life most of them is divorced or crying in the dark because of their unhappy marriage Lonely life is a blessing for people who take advantage of it I recently broke off my engagement with my fiancee.
I have a good job. I have had sex with multiple women over the years, albeit infrequently. I expect this trend will continue into the future. I felt completely used, like everything she had ever said about loving me or having any kind of meaningful desire for me was a lie, because underneath it all everything was based on money, and if the money spigot were to turn off she would have left me in heartbeat instead of me leaving her.
That is not love. I do not want children. The world is overpopulated, and children are annoying. People who regret not getting married because getting married and having kids is "what you're supposed to do" are idiots.
Why would you let someone else tell you "what you're supposed to do". Most people are idiots. Who cares what most people think? People judge me all the time but I couldn't care less.
I will do what I want, whenever I want, however I want. This doesn't extend to everything of course - at work you have to toe the line.
But in your free time, the world is your oyster.
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I walk around my apartment naked with the windows open. Some of you guys would be a lot happier I think if you just adopted this worldview. Do whatever the F you want. If you procreate because you're "expected to", you are likely going to be a crappy parent. You aren't doing the world a favor by popping out a kid.
The never-been-married are biggest users of online dating
In fact you're likely doing it a disservice. I don't have children. I'm 5'10 with model looks. I'm moderately successful and run my own company. I'm well educated and have dated a lot of men. I've even dated quasi celebrities and athletes. I feel more at ease to know that I'm not the only person who is having a hard time with dating. We lived in a home about 10 miles away from my father and step mother. My father was bi-polar and controlling. Always threatening our well being and financial standing.
I suffer from clinical depression- a chemical imbalance that can only be controlled with medication and I have ADHD. I guess I've never been socialized to have a healthy relationship.
I do want one. I've spent thousands of dollars and 10 years in and out of therapy and 10 days in a clinic. I've learned a lot about myself and I understand myself but I still have work to do. I wonder if I will ever have it together enough to be happy and able to make someone else happy. I am fulfilled professionally for the most part. I hope that I can at least have one great relationship in my life. It doesn't have to be marriage and I'm alright with not having children. I just want for once to not have the other shoe drop.
Every time I think I'm there with a guy where I feel comfortable and almost safe, he pulls away from me or rejects me. I have an extremely hard time connecting with men and I always date the wrong man for me. But at the same time the right men consider me damaged goods.
I hope to some day be truly open to a man and not have my past get in the way of it. I know it will be hard work but it will be worth it. I guess I was never presented the opportunity. I had dreams of being married and having a big family, but as the years go by it all seems to have faded.
What do you you do when you're faced with the fact that no one chose you? How do you answer all the stupid questions from others? As though being alone in life was a "choice" I'm slowly learning to be content and acceptmy life for what it is. I chose the life I live so I dont pity myself or seek pity; but I do egret the path taken I isolated my self socailly by 20 - 21 keep either only 1 or two friends, though eventually time and trails have split us apart.
Is it even possible to find friendship and romance at my age? I know I am relativly young - but I keep thinking most socile bonds are formed and maintained from teens and 20's - and all those connections I have ignored or seen shattered. Or maybe it is possible - but my mind and heart are were I left them, stilla t the age of 20, so I expect innocent love and friendship - not the mature, wise and responbile nature of a person my age I have always had low self esteem,I was fat when young and in my teenage years I suffered from a skin condition on my lower body.
Women show a lot of interest in me coz I appear very handsome. I know I will disappoint them if they saw my very bad skin. My first sexual experience was with a prostitute just recently out of curiosity of how sex feels. I didn't enjoy it one bit and highly regretted it. I guess now my hand is my only lover,but I cant say I am unhappy,I know marriage life is hard and I dont think I can really make a woman happy so I am better alone.
I just wanted to be a normal a guy with a normal family but it seems I was meant to walk alone and die alone The closest I came to marriage was a girl who asked me to move in with her.
Women consider me to be very attractive and yet I've always thought that this worked to my disadvantage. I tend to always think that girls think the worst of me so if they are shy to meet me then I just assume that they are not interested. I had a lot of narcissistic and borderline traits when I was younger. I did therapy for 15 years and managed to get back on track. However years of depression and feelings of suicidality left their mark. It seems I was able to meet women much easier when I thought too much of myself.
I recently was in a relationship with a girl who turned out to be more narcissistic than I ever was and I had to end it. She was extremely attractive and sexy and I did go back many times even though I knew I shouldn't. However eventually I arrived at a place where I really felt much more mature and her very self-absorbed ways drove me away permanently. I've recently undergone a big shift in my priorities.
I'm not obsessed with making money and I've started doing things that I really enjoy. I don't know what the future brings. I've just kind of arrived at a place where I'm willing to accept whatever happens. Just turned 55, never married so I have no kids.
I like what the article says about becomeing a surrogate mom to others kids. Alway thought I would marry and have kids etc. After my hysterectomy at 36 the biological clock became a moot point. My new motto is "Just because you can reproduce does necessarily mean that you should.
Men that did not marry at the time that was ususlly "customary" were not motivated to progress in other ways for whatever reasons. Am seeing a trend now, albeit small where a widower dates and marries a spinster type who is generally well educated and self supporting. Back to the issue of chidren, in my own case I have been spoiling nieces and nephews for 35 years.
The advantage I have found for myself is that it is like having grandkids without the inconvience of adult children. I have multiple peers who are now raising their grandchildren because the child's parents or parent is too dysfunctional to hold a job or stay out of jail. I once had an elderly patient while doing home health care as a nurse who was raising great grandchildren because she was the only one in the family not in jail. I suspect that my maternal instinct is presently sublimated in mothering my sisters children, ages 2 to The "threat" of sending them home serves as an excellent way to keep their behaviour at a socially acceptable level.
I feel badly for the younger women who lament the lack of a spouse and the children that come with that life. I want to hug them and say get a awesome education and work your butt off. Don't lower your standards just to have a man in your bed. Anyone can do that. Being unhappily married is a lot worse than being happily single. Another choice that I made throughout my life so far is to not be sexually active.
At least the doctor never had to tell me I was in love. I had a professor who used to say that well adjusted people are well defended people. My defenses have probably kept me from making rash decisions so the consequeses of said choices have been minimal and have not included sensitive children who often pay a price for the "sins of the parents.
One of my favorite lines in a movie Albert Brooks to Holly Hunter, "Wouln't it be great if needy was a turn-on! None of these men are gay. I find thatat this stage of my life I have no need to trade down. Life is good and fun for the most part. I now joke with my little sister about who is going to wipe by butt when I can no longer do it as I plan to maintain my independace for as long as it is feasible. At least I don't have to worry about a dysfunctional kid getting to pick my nursing home.
Probably because I was shy. I've had crushes on certain females sinse I was about Watta said git I am. I would not recommed waiting past age 28 for marriage or sex. Once a man hits age 35 or above it is very very very hard to find even one woman to date or marry and forget about sex. I have tried for many months to find even one lady, none with go out on a date. From my perspective waiting is the worse choice to make.
God does not reward waiting I have learned that the hard way. My boyfriend of 2 years is in his mids and I am afraid that he does not value marriage as I do, or simply does not want to be married to me. I just want to thank all of you men for opening up your hearts on this comment thread, because I think I've realized for the first time that it may have more to do with his inexperience than our relationship together.
The never-been-married are biggest users of online dating | Pew Research Center
I think decades of inexperience or lack of opportunity, depending on how you look at it doesn't necessarily just kick-in even when you feel like you've found the perfect match. I think while this article shares a particular type of truth on the lives of unmarrieds, it leaves out the notion of compassion and feeling of lack-of-choice, which several have expressed on this thread. And I think when one is discussing issues of love, coupling, and fitting into society at large, the only way to analytically think about it is through the lense of compassion.
And it is with great gratitude that I just wanted to thank all of you never married men on this thread who have helped me gain insight into how he has been experiencing the world. It is true, we are all unique, some outwardly so, others more inwardly so - and tonight I say a special prayer for us all to meet our own unique perfect match, and, in the meantime, be able to find, enjoy, and continue to uncover our own uniqueness to ourselves most of all.
Thank you for sharing your story. Never dated till my early 20's, and had very few dates. Always went out with women who I wasn't attracted to they initiated the relationships so I had basically no pleasure from these relationships.Are You Dating or Married to the Wrong Person (This Is So Powerful)
Even though I'm told I'm quite good-looking and have a muscular physique, I've never been able to attract women. Quite resigned to living the rest of my life alone now though. Never before or since. I'm a short male, with no siblings, broken home, constant moving military brat, etc. Recipe for social problems.
It wouldn't be worth trying if it's not mutual anyway. I've had the same job 23years making grand a yr for the last dozen. So doubt that is bottom of the barrel. I'm glad now information such as nitrogen exit bags are available. It's just a shame. I don't know what more I can say but I wish you all the best along with permanent peace and happiness someday for those who are lacking it.
Have a nice day: He now lives with a new Lady and her daughter. I agree about what one person said "people think it strange that you live at home" I think why bother having a house all on your own when you can live with the people you love the most and get on best with.
All three of us live at home with our parents, we help financially and offer support to one another be it chores, looking after one another when sick ect. I have yet to have friends that I get on with aswell as my sisters and brother. Moving out to be on your own I think is a newish concept, in the early s right upto the 70s it was common that all the children stayed at home and contributed an income to the house.
When any did meet someone it was when they got married they left, some wouldn't. I honestly believe our situation is down to a strong bond amoungst one another. It should be noted too that both my mothers parents and fathers parents had the same in their houses even when some of they're children got married not all of them did and live as far as i can tell happily single either sharing a home with each other or on their own they still congrigated in both my grandparents houses to the effect that there children were raised with cousins in their grandparents house.
I hope I am making sense. If I get married then I get married I am not really pushed, I do not think I will find anyone as great as my siblings. Relax alittle go out more even on your own.
When you can socialise as much aspossible. Take care of each other God bless. Stephen almost 8 years ago Always thought I belong to a deserted group!
Never married, stunning looking, post graduate educated female turning 43 this years! When your younger it doen not make that a great difference but when hyou get older things change dramatically.
Not being married means you will never have the opportunity to be a spouse, a friend and someone to love. No kids mean you will never have the experience of being a mom, and grand mother.
Life is so diffrent for us Truth is, for many years I was painfully shy, so, not being a supermodel, I had very little choice on who to date, and also for years I had really bad taste and was into bad boys and "interesting" guys aka crazy. Now thank god I matured and things are different, but still I am left the stigma: What I noticed, in me but also in my older single friends, is that we are less laid back than other women who were always in a relationship, we had to toughen up and never say that we need anything, and say out loud that we were happy with having some fun.
I feel this view is very squalid and very remote from what I always wanted to love and be loved but I don't know if changing this view will also change my relationship status It's sad to see that because, in general, nothing comes to you in life, you must seek it out. There are many excellent self help books out there. Absolutely top 10 free dating russian free trial marriedsecrets. Contact and herpes, little started in match.
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