Two Kisses for Maddy: A Memoir of Loss and Love by Matthew Logelin
Adaptation of Matthew Logelin's memoir, "Two Kisses for Maddy" subtitled “A Memoir After years of long-distance dating, the pair finally settled together in Los. TWO KISSES FOR MADDY by Matthew Logelin and the premature delivery of the baby seven weeks before its due date became necessary. Matt Logelin's wife, Liz, died hours after the birth of their first baby. Three years on, Matt says the closeness of the two dates is gut-wrenchingly hard. a book about the first year of Madeline's life, Two Kisses For Maddy.
The main complaint from other reviewers who've given this book low ratings is that he swears too much. I, too, have a potty mouth, so mere swearing doesn't bother me, but he uses the same words all the time and unimaginatively.
Constantly using "fucking" as an adjective just grates, and loses any power of emphasis when he uses it to describe how much his wife's death sucks shortly after also using it to describe how awful the generic music played at the funeral parlor is pro tip for those at home: Granted, this is probably where a good editor would have stepped in, but after the slew of books I've read lately, I'm sincerely starting to believe that those are few and far between these days.
But that wasn't why I think this book is terrible, even if the writing is uniformly disjointed and subpar. My main problem with this book is that the author is a pretentious hipster snot. After his wife's death, he grieved, and I felt sincerely bad for him, but his insistence on "not being lame" when out and about with his kid made me want to shake him. Being a parent isn't about being cool, asshole.
Two Kisses for Maddy : A Memoir of Loss & Love
I respected a lot of what he had to say about the different processes of grieving: He's got a good heart, as evidenced by the way he treated the hospital staff, but he's also unnecessarily spiteful and judgmental, as clearly shown by his visit to the Social Security office. I was also appalled that he habitually interspersed the text with "meaningful" song lyrics: What bothered me the most, though, was how woefully immature he was at the age of 30, until adulthood was thrust upon him with the sudden status of parent and widower.
Before then, he'd been happy to coast on the luck of having an amazing wife who put up with his shit. Madeline was born at 33 weeks and went straight to the neonatal intensive care unit NICU. Excited about the visit, Liz took a practice walk around her hospital room after five weeks of bed rest.
As she lowered herself into her wheelchair, she murmured, "I feel lightheaded", and fainted. As Liz fell, Matt staggered to support her, amazed at how heavy his petite wife suddenly felt. His elation turned to concern, then panic. Liz's nurses, initially almost dismissive of her fainting spell — "It happens all the time" — quickly realised it was an emergency and hustled Matt out as the medical teams swarmed in.
And she was never going to hold her baby. Despite being surrounded by family, Matt felt starkly alone.
He went to the only place that could offer comfort. Liz had seen Madeline only fleetingly after an emergency Caesarean. She had never held her and never would. Matt and Liz Logelin had been together for 12 years — since high school.
Liz, who was 30 when she died, was a high-flying Disney executive: Matt worked for an internet search engine; he was mellower, a counterbalance to his ambitious, successful wife. Unlike some couples who meet as teenagers, they had grown closer and endured a complicated pregnancy.
Now Liz was gone and Matt had to deal with his loss as well as having to cope with a newborn baby on his own. Every Tuesday, every time the clock reached 3. From the start, his daughter gave him a reason to go on. He couldn't afford to lose himself in grief. After the funeral, Matt took off for the hospital, feeding Madeline from a bottle while still dressed in his funeral suit. At times he thought dying himself might be the only way through his pain, but he never seriously contemplated suicide: But when he took his baby out, strangers would often ask difficult questions, such as "Where's Mummy?
Soon after bringing Madeline home from hospital, Matt experienced an extreme version of the nerves felt by any new parent. To ward off loneliness, he posted to the online parenting forum run by his old home town's newspaper, the Minnesota Star Tribune. It's been a tough two weeks. Matt was in Minneapolis for Liz's second memorial service when the story ran and was confronted at the airport by rows of newspapers featuring himself and Madeline on the front page under the headline, "Without Liz, but not alone.
Writing through a haze of heartbreak, he found it comforting but bizarre that he and Madeline were recognised by strangers who had seen photographs and knew their story.
I was one of those strangers.
Two Kisses for Maddy: A Memoir of Loss and Love
I stumbled on Matt's blog about a month after Liz's death. Like many others, I kept returning to the blog, often starting my day in tears as I read the latest bulletin from a father I had never met but could so easily relate to.
In one post, simultaneously heartbreaking and heartening, Matt described Liz's memorial service. The poignancy of the service was depicted in minute detail. Then, abruptly, the scene shifted: Matt made a detour between the church and the wake — to collect some new releases at a record store.
- Matthew Logelin
- Two Kisses for Maddy
The juxtaposition is unexpected and jarringly funny. Grief is often sugar-coated and even when it's raw, it's rarely so honest. Matt's posts were compulsive and charmingly artless.
Matt Logelin: Just the two of us | Life and style | The Guardian
When you talk to Matt, one to one, what comes across repeatedly is that he feels he's nothing special. And we want it to be true, for Matt to be an everyman.
We want to know that if the unthinkable happened and our children or our friends' children were left motherless, our partners, husbands and friends would cope too. The first batch of comments on Matt's blog expressed sympathy. Before long, the tone of the comments shifted from condolence to pragmatism. The majority of those who write to Matt are mothers of young children offering advice.
If Madeline wasn't sleeping well, scores of people would offer suggestions. And his readers sent him stuff.