Modern Romance: An Investigation - Wikipedia
The Paperback of the Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari, Eric "With topics like online dating apps to serious social science research, the book. Modern Romance: An Investigation is a research book written by American actor and stand-up comedian Aziz Ansari and American sociologist We meet people, date, get into and out of relationships, all with hope of finding someone with. Title: Modern Romance; Author: Aziz Ansari, with Eric Klinenberg Dating is hard and weird – a grandiose anecdote about the torture of.
Jul 06, Anne rated it really liked it Recommended to Anne by: I was introduced to Aziz's stand-up by my oldest son, and I've been hooked on him ever since. He's hilarious, and if you haven't seen him perform you're missing out. Which makes me wish I'd listened to this as an audiobook Turns out, Aziz and his partner, Eric Klinenberg, did quite a bit of research for this book. Now, is So, this isn't really a humorous book about Aziz Ansari's dating experiences, it's more like a book about dating in the modern world, written by the very humorous Aziz Ansari.
Now, is it the best book out there on this subject? The most detailed investigation with the most clinical data? Between the two of them, they did focus groups, had pie charts, and looked at how people dated in a few different cultures. Not a ton, but a few! Japan Tokyo, in particular was interesting! I'd heard about their lack of interest in sex, but I didn't realize it was now such a big deal that the government was stepping in to help out.
You'd think Tokyo would be a hopping place for singles, but evidently Even so, it sounds like a fabulous place to visit! They looked at Paris to see what a more laid-back culture thought about monogamy, and the results were More Parisians were cool with a bit of cheating than other countries.
They also looked at Buenos Aries, which is supposedly a more aggressive city for dating. As in, the guys are aggressive and take catcalling to a whole new level. Or maybe it's a game both genders play in that culture? Either way, catcalling is gross, disrespectful, and not the way to meet your soul mate.
Aziz Ansari: Love, Online Dating, Modern Romance and the Internet
Now, if you've ever seen Ansari's stand-up, you've probably seen him get someone out of the audience and scroll through their texts. This is like Aziz scrolling through thousands of personal texts to see what people are saying to each other. What's dating like for singles when there are so many ways to communicate? It only served lunch. At that point I had run out of time because I had a show to do, so I ended up making a peanut-butter-and-banana sandwich on the bus.
- Review: Aziz Ansari tries to understand the strange world of contemporary dating in Modern Romance
- Follow the Author
The stunning fact remained: This kind of rigor goes into a lot of my decisionmaking. The question nagged at me—not least because of my own experiences watching promising relationships peter out over text message—so I set out on a mission. I quizzed the crowds at my stand-up comedy shows about their own love lives.
People even let me into the private world of their phones to read their romantic texts aloud onstage. Throw in the fact that people now get married later in life than ever before, turning their early 20s into a relentless hunt for more romantic options than previous generations could have ever imagined, and you have a recipe for romance gone haywire. In the course of our research, I also discovered something surprising: Our phones and texts and apps might just be bringing us full circle, back to an old-fashioned version of courting that is closer to what my own parents experienced than you might guess.
Almost a quarter of online daters find a spouse or long-term partner that way. It provides you with a seemingly endless supply of people who are single and looking to date.
Before online dating, this would have been a fruitless quest, but now, at any time of the day, no matter where you are, you are just a few screens away from sending a message to your very specific dream man. There are downsides with online dating, of course.
Throughout all our interviews—and in research on the subject—this is a consistent finding: Even a guy at the highest end of attractiveness barely receives the number of messages almost all women get. On the Internet, there are no lonely corners. Medium height, thinning brown hair, nicely dressed and personable, but not immediately magnetic or charming.
The first woman he clicked on was very beautiful, with a witty profile page, a good job and lots of shared interests, including a love of sports. Imagine the Derek of 20 years ago, finding out that this beautiful, charming woman was a real possibility for a date.
If she were at a bar and smiled at him, Derek of would have melted. But Derek of simply clicked an X on a web-browser tab and deleted her without thinking twice. Watching him comb through those profiles, it became clear that online, every bozo could now be a stud.
But dealing with this new digital romantic world can be a lot of work. Even the technological advances of the past few years are pretty absurd. In the history of our species, no group has ever had as many romantic options as we have now. Laundry Detergent In theory, more options are better, right? Psychology professor Barry Schwartz, famous for his book The Paradox of Choicedivided us into two types of people: We have all become maximizers. When I think back to that sad peanut-butter-and-banana sandwich I had in Seattle, this idea resonates with me.
If you only knew how good the candles in my house smell. When you watched their actual browsing habits—who they looked at and contacted—they went way outside of what they said they wanted. When I was writing stand-up about online dating, I filled out the forms for dummy accounts on several dating sites just to get a sense of the questions and what the process was like.
The person I described was a little younger than me, small, with dark hair. My girlfriend now, whom I met through friends, is two years older, about my height—O. A big part of online dating is spent on this process, though—setting your filters, sorting through profiles and going through a mandatory checklist of what you think you are looking for. People take these parameters very seriously.
Aziz Ansari: Love, Online Dating, Modern Romance and the Internet
But does all the effort put into sorting profiles help? Despite the nuanced information that people put up on their profiles, the factor that they rely on most when preselecting a date is looks. Now, of course, we have mobile dating apps like Tinder. As soon as you sign in, Tinder uses your GPS location to find nearby users and starts showing you pictures. Maybe it sounds shallow. In the case of my girlfriend, I initially saw her face somewhere and approached her. I just had her face, and we started talking and it worked out.
Is that experience so different from swiping on Tinder?
Nor is it all that different from what one friend of mine did, using online dating to find someone Jewish who lived nearby. Americans are also joining the international trend of marrying later; for the first time in history, the typical American now spends more years single than married. So what are we doing instead? As Eric wrote in his own book, Going Solowe experiment. Long-term cohabitation is on the rise. Living alone has skyrocketed almost everywhere, and in many major cities, nearly half of all households have just one resident.