The Swaddle | FWP: A Single Parent Sleepover?
My kids are older, they are all old enough to understand that mom has . to go against the prudish outdated ideas about single parent dating. The Swaddle Team tells a single parent to make like a teenager and sneak around, because sleepovers are too likely to lead to heartbreak -- for the kids. After a long time out of the dating scene (four years since my divorce). If you're the single mom of a wee little one, this is easy. Well, sort off. Tagged as : Dating, Men, overnight, single mom and dating, sleepover.
Now, however, I had 16 years of marriage and 11 years of motherhood under my belt, plus a less-than-starry-eyed attitude about romance.
And did I mention the two precious, innocent little girls who needed me to be there for them? Trying to simultaneously be a hot mama and an uber-responsible single parent was a challenge to my schedule and my psyche, but I learned that you can, in fact, have a romantic life without freaking out your kids or yourself.
I've been at it for three-plus years now, so let me take a stab at what I suspect are your most pressing questions--they were surely mine. I know people who waited years before deciding to take the plunge and some who threw themselves into it instantly.
There's no right or wrong, but you should date only because you want to, not because anyone else thinks you should or shouldn't. Believe me, people will have opinions If there's another parent in the picture and you share custody, you will suddenly have something called free time, which you may remember from your pre-mom days. If you're the solo caregiver, please put down this magazine and make yourself a roster of babysitters because you'll need a break.
I remember finding those first few weekends sans kids heady and horrible at the same time.
One minute I was dancing around the living room singing "Do you believe in life after love? Without playdates to supervise, squabbles to moderate, or mac 'n' cheese to make, it's hard to know who you are at first. I was afraid that if I jumped right back in, I'd just end up in another unhealthy relationship with someone else--which wouldn't be good for me or my kids. I decided to enter the fray about four months after my ex-husband moved out.
A Single Parent’s Dating Dilemma: The Sleepover
How did I know it was time? For one thing, I couldn't bear to face another kid-free weekend doing jigsaw puzzles or watching English period dramas. And I found myself lusting after a headless male mannequin in the Gap. Wait--so you're saying there isn't a line of handsome, well-adjusted suitors waiting outside your door because they got the memo that you're available?
There were no obvious candidates for me right off the bat either. Also, I found much of the common wisdom, which advises the single gal to ask friends to fix her up or to hunt for hunks in the aisles of The Home Depot, maddening and unrealistic. By all means, get the word out that you're interested in meeting someone and cross your fingers. People do get fixed up, from what I hear, and I suppose there are women who can make things happen at bars, playgrounds, and big-box chain stores.
I'm not one of them. The fact is, you're a busy mom, which means you're often housebound. If you want to have some control over the process, carve out a few hours for yourself and your laptop during your kids' naptime or after they're asleep. Sniff around on Facebook.
How to Be A Rockin’ Single Mom | Solo Parent Magazine
Surely there's an old flame, or a friend of a friend of a friend worth, um, friending? Or join an online dating site where you can cast your net as wide as you'd like.
Your married friends will eagerly help you write your profile and, in return, you will provide them much-needed vicarious thrills. They will love it, I promise! Should I Date Only Dads? Having children is such a life-altering experience that it can be hard to relate to men who don't get the intense pull on your heart and pressure on your time that is parenthood.
In my three-plus years of postmarital singledom, I've gone on one or two dates with non-dads, but my two longer-term relationships have been with fathers. Men who haven't been in the parenting trenches, even if they love kids, just seem to speak a different language, one that doesn't necessarily have a translation for phrases such as, "I can't leave my son with a babysitter tonight because he has the flu.
Julia Landry, the author of the parents.
There's no explaining chemistry. If it works with someone, it works, dad-ness be damned. I was shocked when I took inventory of own life and realized the number of places I went every day and how I was being in those places. The truth was I was completely unapproachable.
We all need good wing-women! The single most important thing you can do to make a man talk to you is to smile. Now that you know how to meet them, the next question is, how on earth are you going to go on a date with them?
This is where the Village comes in. You have got to have a community of friends you rely on to help you.
The Single-Mom Dating Guide
But why is it that dating seems and feels so much less important to us? This is one of those oxygen mask moments, and a good friend will get it and support you in that. This points to our need to feel like superheroes, like we have to be able to do it all. We simply cannot, and we need to be able to ask for help.
We also need to be able and willing to reciprocate. I have a team of friends whose children I will take at any given time, and those parents will in turn take my son any day of the week so I can go on a date and not have to pay a fortune for a babysitter. See how this works? How do you know when to introduce him to your kids? How do you start to ease into a more relaxed kind of dating where you have dinner at home and watch a movie?DATING A SINGLE MOTHER - Advantages of Dating A Single Mom (Advice For Men Who Date Single Moms)
Often we can get caught up in the flurry of a new relationship and want to introduce our new boyfriend to our children right away and begin to play house quickly. But if that initial spark dies and the relationship fizzles out, the loss can be as devastating to our children as it is to us. In that case we risk creating the illusion that people can disappear, or that they are dispensable. If we wait too long to introduce them we are actually living a false life in the context of the relationship.