[INFJ] - Advice: INTJ female in a budding relationship with an INFJ male | INFJ Forum
Sensitive INFJ. Emotionless INTJ. Sounds like a match made in heaven, right? Let's look at some of the dynamics at play in an INTJ INFJ relationship. So, I've been dating this amazing lady for a while. We hit it off really well and fell in love. She is the classic "feeler" type & I am the classic. What are some benefits of an INFJ-INTJ relationship? This is pretty basic advice, but here goes: remember or learn to value feelings and emotions, whether.
For my INFJ and I, we're able to relate to each other about issues in society, and bond over our dislike for apathy.
The thing is, he attributes most of society's problems to greed, wealth, and insincerity while I think it's just a fundamental flaw in any human society, because of the way society is systematized. But despite the Te-Fi difference we're able to understand each other.
That's what's been really rewarding so far, I've never had been able to hold a deep discussion and express views on life, love, the world, and future with another person so genuinely. He feels the same way too. I am an INFJ male, and I would suggest, if you really like the guy, it just let the relationship evolve on it's own. I don't know too many things about these types and every type's features, but I could tell you what I think.
I think he already likes you a lot, but is a little afraid of you not liking him back, and with the bad past experiences he is just a little cautious. If you like him and you are really considering to have a romantic relationship with him, just let him know that. But what I absolutely love about him is that he's genuinely patient and understanding when I tell him I've never dated, and I'm new at everything under the relationships umbrella.
I brought up the idea of dating casually recently, but he says he's not ready and doesn't want to be "held down" in the event we "accidentally have kids before we're ready and have to give up on his aspirations". I was absolutely floored that a 20 year old college student who's very attractive, confident, down-to-earth, and has no problem being extroverted would link "girlfriend" to issues like 'marriage" and "kids".
Then again, INFJ behavior? I told him I'm not interested yet either, since I'm busy. He was a bit upset at that, and tried to make me jealous by mentioning girls he know and that "it's easy for a white guy to date Asians".
I played it cool and told him to "go for it, if he wants to" I don't want to be needyand we had a brief misunderstanding there. I think he may really like me because when I joked later he sometimes amused me, he said that "at least I'm good for something.
But I think it's all solved now, since I texted him later in the night and let him know I cared about him, but wasn't ready to express my feelings, and I didn't want him to get any other ideas that I wasn't interested in him. The INTJ will need to begin to communicate their own needs or thoughts, and for maximum effect, this should be done with the goal to harmonize as much as possible while meeting the needs of everyone in the group, including oneself.
Give all feedback in a sensitive way. The colors, everything just works. Is there anything we can do about that?
Use very light language, explain how you feel rather than saying how it is. INFJs are not huge detail people. As long as their vision has been captured, add-on ideas will often go either unnoticed or uncared about.
INTJ Tips for Working with INFJs (The H3 Interaction Model)
In this way there is often plenty of space for a compromise. Allow for the INFJ to act as irrationally as it appears to you as they need to. Remember that their logic function is very subjective, and builds from the ground up rather than building on existing frameworks.
Heal Healing is the outer shell that needs to surround this entire process or experience. Remember that your key leverage points with an INFJ will involve extraverted feeling—putting yourself in their shoes. Listen actively and draw out more when you can.
Noticing when the INFJ is getting you to talk about you for a long time, and calling them out on it. Ask and make it your job to turn on their problem-solving, feeling-expressing verbal skills.
Remembering their birthday and saying something about it Example: Reminding the INFJ at some interval that you have been thinking about them, or the project, or a shared experience.
INTJ Tips for Working with INFJs (The H3 Interaction Model) | Marc Carson's INTJ Psychology Blog
Did the INFJ take a big step? Tell them you were impressed. Help them know that their contributions are noticed.
It would be most useful to drop any perfectionism to which you hold yourself, during this process. You may find it useful to employ a spreadsheet or calendar reminders throughout this process.
Make sure you are making time in life to use your own gifts. What are you learning from the INFJ?
The Surprising Thing About Dating an INTJ, as an INFJ
What kind of research could be done to expand that? The model intentionally reflects this, as you can see by the Direction of Personal Growth indicator in the graphic above. INFJs sometimes feel violent opposition to the idea of type, due to their inner need to affirm the uniqueness of each and every person.
Are these efforts working? Use subjective thinking to make and refine your own framework.
This will make you more efficient should you need to work with this person or type of person again. These are principles and techniques that I definitely have not mastered yet, but I feel a huge sense of relief now that I am aware of them.
I focus mainly on the INTJ personality type. Aside from my main day job as a website development business owner, I also own a personality type-based coaching business.
I am certified in the assessment of psychological type and administration of restricted psychometric instruments by the Breckenridge Institute. I have given presentations on personality type to large and small audiences.